So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
