Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
