sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
