He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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