why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
false alarm. still invincible.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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