I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
