Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
