what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize