I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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