Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
