Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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