return my video game
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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