I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
