we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
one might say we're banned from that church
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
