I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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