The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
