Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
not ubering you a puppy
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize