I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The beer is more important than you right now.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
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