he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
