I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
