I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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