I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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