Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
