So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Everyone says I win the strip club
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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