I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
