I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize