I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize