she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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