U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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