i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
