You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
