This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
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