I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
