I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize