i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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