I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
God, I missed his penis.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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