We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
