Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
