I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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