You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
