hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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