Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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