I wish I could teleport
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
