You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
