bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
