I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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