Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
