so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
