are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
