I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize