It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
