She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
