I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize