We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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