sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize